Life, Personal, Uncategorized

Why I don’t wear a bra

 

It’s been a month now since I’d completely stop wearing bras (with the exception of sports bra) and I feel really good. So this post will revolve all about the reasons for this decision. What inspired me to push this and what’s my stance on it. You may or may not agree with what I will say but I wish you’d just be at least open to the idea of it. The world is changing and we must adapt to the changes because that’s how life is. So here it goes…

One of the reasons for my decision is that it’s uncomfortable. No, I don’t wear bras that are too small or too big for me. They’re just really uncomfortable. Throughout the day while I’m at the office, it makes me feel super uneasy sitting there and doing work with this annoying and suffocating-feeling. I know some of you might say, hindi ka na ba nasanay or you’ve got to be used to wearing a bra by now! Yeah right, because I’ve been wearing bras since I was around 12 or 13 years olf which makes it around 10-11 years? Well nope, I’m not used to it.

Secondly, back then I didn’t really have a choice. It was somehow mandatory before. Of course with school and college, it seemed to be what people call as normal. But growing up and becoming an adult, I somehow realized that the things we do are because of what people expect us to do and as a result, we just follow them to please them. I’m so sick of the fact that we do certain things because that’s what everyone is doing. Life is about the choices we make and that’s what makes life so wonderful. But how can we have a colourful life, when we’re just following what the other people are doing?

The third reason is health. I want to take care of my boobs, they’re very important to me and as a woman, it’s one of our assets. According to certain research, bras provide no benefits to the boobs in general and may also be harmful over time especially due to the underwire and push-ups foams used. Breasts are actually great things, they can handle themselves on their own because they have their own muscles to carry themselves. And with bras, boobs become independent to it and the boob muscles have no sense anymore which in the long run, can result to saggy boobs. So the purpose of going braless is to let the muscles do their job.

The fourth reason is bras are overrated. Through the years, it has evolved as a fashion to women. Drastic developments have been done to bras, with push-ups, bling-bling and all that. It’s clearly too much. And that could also be blamed on advertising (yes, it’s contradicting to my line of work) because over the years they’ve created an image that bras are an accessory and not as a need. Media has certainly played a big role in changing the perspective of people which is kind of disappointing especially to be part of this industry. In which I am also blessed to be part of this industry because it gives me the opportunity to have a say in it other than just keeping it to myself.

These are just some of my reasons and it may have no sense to some but it’s important to me. Boobs are part of our bodies, whether you’re a man or a woman. It’s just like our arms, legs, toes or fingers. They’re there, they exist and we all have them. So why are we so afraid to be comfortable around them? I want you to be comfortable with yourself. I’m not saying that you should also follow me and not wear a bra. But I encourage you to be who you are and follow what you want to be. Not generally with wearing a bra but with your life. My decision for not wearing a bra is just one step of the bigger picture. It’s time you did something you want and for yourself.

 

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Requirements for Civil Wedding in Brunei for Filipino Couples

Hey everyone!

Have you been recently got engaged? Are you planning to get married any time soon? Are you both Filipinos that are currently working and living in Brunei?

If your answers are all YES, then listen up!

I know what your going through right now. Because I’m in that same process too. And I’m here to share with you the guide that helped us with the wedding documents.

I did a lot of research online and I also asked some government offices for the official requirements to make sure that I didn’t leave any requirements missing.

Anyway, as of this writing me and my fiance haven’t finished the whole process but we’ve got all the requirements and steps figured out! Don’t worry because I’ll be editing stuffs out in the future after we are done with everything.

In our case, we are currently working in Brunei as OFWs and we got engaged last May 16 2016. As of now, we don’t got that extra budget and extra time to travel back to Manila and to do all the wedding preparations. That is why we’re looking at the alternatives.

And at the same time, if I wanted to have my wedding in Manila, I want to be very hands on. I want to be 150% part of all the wedding preparations. Its a dream come true!! But looking at the situation, I won’t have that yet since I am only limited to 30 days of leave since I am working in Brunei and 30 days isn’t enough to prepare a wedding we want. Besides, I also want to have my fiance with me through the whole wedding preparations. Which is the fun and exciting part!

Anyway, so we opted for this option; to get married in Brunei.

According to my own research, there are actually 3 ways to get married here in Brunei. Firstly is at a Solemnization Ceremony conducted at the Philippine Embassy. Second option is a Church Wedding (for Catholic Couples) at Church of Our Lady of Assumption (COLA) in Bandar or at St. John’s Church in Kuala Belait (depending on your area). And lastly is a Solemnization Ceremony at the Magistrate Court located at Jalan Tutong.

At this post I will be discussing the steps on how to request the documents for the Solemnization Ceremony at the Magistrate Court. Since this is the one that we are currently doing.

Civil Wedding in Brunei (Magistrate Court)

Me and my fiance decided to get married at the Magistrate Court here in Brunei because it’s what we want and it is the most suitable process. In terms of documents, time and budget-wise. And in addition, we had both our parents’ approval on it. They were actually the ones that suggested it since it’s the option that requires less documents. Since we were opting for the ones with less paperwork.

Firstly, here are the list of requirements needed at the Magistrate Court. You can check out this PDF file here

OR for a less complicated one:

Before filing of Notice of Marriage, the couple must swear a Statutory Declaration with respect to the condition of:

An Applicant must be:

  • more than 18 years of age;
  • reside in Brunei Darussalam for a minimum period of 14 days (this condition may be satisfied by one of the couple);
  • not be married to any other third party;
  • not be related to the other party to the marriage;
  • be of sound mind;
  • not be of Muslim faith.

These Statutory Declaration forms will be supplied to the couple at the time of filing the Notice of Marriage.

Notice of Marriage Requirements:

  • Brunei Identity Card (or passport)
  • Two B$10.00 postal stamps (available at post offices)
  • Document/s to prove marital status: (For Philippine Nationals only) Certification of Eligibility to Contract Marriage issued by the Philippine Embassy

To request for a Certification of Eligibility to Contract Marriage, there are certain documents that you have to request for first.

So the following are the all the detailed steps to request for the Certification of Eligibility to Contract Marriage.

Step One:

Certificate of No Marriage

Request for CENOMAR

You and your fiancé MUST request a CENOMAR (Certificate of No Marriage).

A CENOMAR  is simply what its name implies. It is a certification issued by the PSA stating that a person has not contracted any marriage. Also called a certificate of No Record of Marriage or Certificate of Singleness. (Source: PSA)

For the couple that are in Brunei you can request for your CENOMAR HERE

The E-Census Website is an online facility for submitting requests for copy issuance of civil registry records (birth, marriage and death certificates) and issuance of certification of no marriage record (CENOMAR) (Source: E-Census)

This option is the easiest to request for your CENOMAR. All you have to do is fill out the forms correctly. However, this option requires you to have a family member/relative to assist you in the process. Because since it is an online request you have to have your documents delivered to an address in the Philippines. It’s cheaper and a faster transaction. Although in E-Census you also can have it delivered to you via Courier if your abroad, though it will take 6-8 weeks to arrive.

If you want to receive your documents faster, you can opt to choose to have your documents delivered to a family member/relative’s address in the Philippines. You have to also NOTE that you MUST put your relative’s name, address, contact number in the CONTACT AND DELIVERY INFORMATION

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After filling out the form all you have to do is click NEXT.

You can request both yours and your fiance’s CENOMAR at the same time in one batch. And you can both have it delivered to one person.

Payment

The fees are as follows:

PHP 315.00 per copy – birth/marriage/ death certificates

PHP 415.00 per copy – CENOMAR

As for the payment it depends on you which options suits you the most, you can find the options here

For us, we opted for the BDO Bank Deposit. We had my fiance’s mother to help us in this process because we had our CENOMAR delivered to her house in Manila and also asked her to deposit for us at a BDO Branch for the CENOMAR payment.

Delivery

For deliveries around Metro Manila, Metro Cebu, Metro Davao: 3-5 working days after payment.

For other cities or provinces within the Philippines: 4-9 working days after payment

For other ther countries 6-8 weeks after payment

For faster delivery (5-8 working days after payment), avail of special courier services by emailing them at ecensus2@census.gov.ph.

For more information you may visit them here 

All you have to do now is just to notify your relative/family member and wait for your documents to arrive. After that you can proceed to the next step.

Step Two

Special Power of Attorney

The next step is to have the CENOMAR authenticated at the Department of Foreign Affiars in Manila. Since in the Philippine Embassy here in Brunei it requires the documents to be authenticated.

Authenticating documents is only available in the Philippines. And since we cannot just simply fly to Manila right away, we also need a relative/family member in Manila to assist us in the process of CENOMAR authentication at the DFA.

Therefore, the next document  you will need a Special Power of Attorney or S.P.A.

The Special Power of Attorney is a document that grants a person the authority to act on behalf of you, the principal under certain and specified circumstances.

In our case, the person we indicated in the S.P.A is my fiancé’s mother since she will be the one to process our documents at the DFA in Manila.

The S.P.A can be requested at the Philippine Embassy.

The Philippine Embassy in Brunei is open from Mondays to Fridays

8:00am to 5:00pm (Monday – Thursday)

8:00am to 12:00pm & 2:00pm – 6:00pm (Every Friday)

Please observe proper decorum and dress code when visiting the Philippine Embassy. You may know more about it here

The requirements to request for the Special Power of Attorney are the following;

  • Personal appearance
  • Duly accomplished SPA form (downloadable here)
  • Passport copy of the person executing the Special Power of Attorney
  • Fee of BND 37.50

The duration to process the SPA at the Embassy will take about 1 hour to 1 1/2 hours depending on the number of people at the Embassy.

Step Three

At this step you have on hand with you the original Special Power of Attorney that you requested from the Philippine Embassy. Next you have to give it to your family member/relative in Manila.

There are 2 steps to do so.

  • First is to deliver it to the Philippines via courier for a fee
  • Ask a friend/family member/relative who is going to the Philippines to pass it to your family member/relative

In our case, we had ours delivered via Courier for B$15.00. It took about 5 days to be delivered to my fiance’s mother in Manila.

Step Four

As of this step, your family member/relative must have with them the true copy of your CENOMAR and the original S.P.A. that you delivered to them. If not, you have to wait for these documents to arrive before you proceed.

Authentication of CENOMAR at DFA

The next step is to get your CENOMARs authenticated at a DFA Office. Your family member/relative must bring the following documents to a nearest Department of Foreign Affairs office or Satellite Offices:

  • Application Form (to be filled up at the DFA)
  • True Copy of CENOMAR
  • Special Power of Attorney with attached photocopy of you and your fiancé’s identification or passport
  • 2 valid government issued ID’s with 2 photocopies (for your family member/relative identification)
  • Fee of PHP. 100 for REGULAR (2-3 days) OR PHP. 200 pesos for RUSH (1 day)

You can check the nearest DFA Offices and Satellite Offices here

At the DFA, the requirements will be checked by an officer by the door depending on the purpose. And an identification will be checked and the officer will ask what type of process will you avail; RUSH or REGULAR one. And an application form will be given to you that would needed to be filled out.

After carefully filling out the forms, proceed to the window depending on the type of process. And hand over the documents such as; CENOMAR, SPA and photocopies of identification.

After they scan through the documents they will ask you to pay at the cashier and return to them the receipt. And they will issue you a claiming stub wherein the date of release will be indicated (depending on the process you availed; RUSH; 1 day OR Regular 2-3 days)

When claiming for the Authenticated CENOMARs please bring at least 2 government IDs as well.

Step Five

Certification of Eligibility to Contract Marriage

After your CENOMAR has been authenticated, this document must be kept safely and to be delivered back to you via courier or have someone bring it to you if you know someone who is travelling back to Brunei that can bring your documents.

When you already have with you the authenticated CENOMAR, you can bring this to the Philippine Embassy to request for Certification of Eligibility to Contract Marriage.

Here is the list of requirements to get the Certification of Eligibility to Contract Marriage:

  • Personal appearance
  • Duly accomplished Statutory Declaration form ( downloadable here)
  • Certificate of No Marriage (CENOMAR) from PSA/NSO (issued not more than 6 months from vthe date of application) duly authenticated by the Department of Foreign Affairs (DFA)
  • Original and photocopies of the contracting parties’ valid passports
  • Fee of BND 37.50

All you have to do is bring all the documents and go the Philippine Embassy.

(As of writing, we haven’t reached this step yet. Please wait for updates)

Step Six

Submission of Requirements at the Magistrate Court 

When you already have with you a copy of Certification of Eligibility to Contract Marriage.

You may now proceed to bring it to the Magistrate Court and book your wedding date along with the following documents:

  • Brunei Identity Card (or passport)
  • Two B$10.00 postal stamps (available at post offices)
  • Certification of Eligibility to Contract Marriage issued by the Philippine Embassy
  • Fee of B$100.00 for Notice of Marriage
  • Fee of B$100.00 for Solemnization of Marriage

Also take note of the hours for filing notice of marriage:

Mondays to Thursdays

8.00 a.m. to 11.00 a.m.

2.00 p.m. to 3.15 p.m.

Notice of Marriages must be filed at the District where the applicants ordinarily reside. The address of all districts is at:

Marriage Registry, 2nd floor, High Court – Supreme Court building, Jalan Tutong, Bandar Seri Begawan.

For the Belait District:

Marriage Registry, Magistrate’s Court, Belait District Courts, Kuala Belait.

Also take note that date of solemnization will be fixed on a Saturday (Bandar Seri Begawan) and Monday (Kuala Belait) after 14 days of Notice of Marriage. Upon filing of a Notice of Marriage, a Guide on Solemnization will be issued to the applicants. Applicants are strongly advised to read this guide (page 5) carefully:

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Step Seven

Finally! All you have to do now is figure out what to wear and where your reception will be at! Heheheh. If it still fits the budget, if not you and your fiancé can opt for a more intimate family gathering and just have a simple lunch or dinner at a nice restaurant in town!

Congratulations and Best Wishes!!!  I hope I was able to help you with your wedding preps!

Thank you so much for taking the time to read!

God Bless!

Yours truly,

– K.

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Our DIY trip to Baguio // Part I

I know, I know. It’s long overdue. Four months to be exact! But I just wanted to share our DIY trip last May 14-16 @Baguio, and where Richard proposed to me. All those details including the kilig will be in this post. Hehehe

Enjoy! 💗 

Me and Richard planned this trip way way back. It was during my second (last) semester to be exact. Around December 2015, we thought to have a little trip out of town to celebrate my graduation and also a post anniversary celebration as well. Since we were LDR back then and didn’t celebrate our anniversary which was on February and I was still finishing up my last semester in Uni and he was back in Brunei working. #LDRProbs 

So it literally look us months because there were so many places to choose from. I wanted to go to Palawan, Batangas, Davao but I thought why not Baguio? I’ve been hearing a lot of things about Baguio and how great it is and Richard has actually been there before, and guess when! Back when he graduated in college he and his family went there as a graduation gift to him! So me and Richard thought that I should have the same thing as he did. 

Finding a Hotel

Finding a hotel was kinda a challenge since the only option we had to find one was online. So we were dependent on Google. We saw a lot of hotels that were nice and looks so comfy but one they might be too pricey or didn’t fit the budget. Second, if it did fit the budget, the hotel wasn’t near the vicinity of the tourist spots. Until we opted for, Baguio Holiday Villas. You can check them out here:http://www.baguioholidayvillas.com.ph/

We stayed there for 3 days and 2 nights, we also had free breakfast every morning.

Itinerary

We did a little reseach of the places we wanted to go and how to get there, how to go back to the hotel and everything. Which I can say is very important especially in going on a trip somewhere. If you don’t follow the exact itinerary, at least you have a guide. 

Like what we did, we had a detailed itinerary. But we didn’t exactly followed it. It served as a guide of the places that we needed to go to, so we don’t miss anything  especially if there are a lot of tourists spots in one area. 

Transportation

We took the Victory Liner bus going to Baguio specifically the bus terminal at Pasay. And also we opted for the First Class Bus which costs only 750pesos! It was amazing because you get enough legroom plus free water bottle and snacks. And even a charming attendant on board especially with their cute uniform. 😄 

Oh and BTW we bought our tickets 3 days before our actual trip to Baguio because we were scared it might get fullybooked which we were right about, because our inital plan of leaving Manila at around midnight didn’t push through because all schedule going to Baguio from midnight up till 5am were fully booked. So we got the 6am schedule instead. 

Day One

Manila-Baguio

We woke up pretty late at the morning of May 14 because we slept in! Hah! Because the night before we had a little session with one of Richard’s old buddy and we went home a little late and went to bed at around morning already since we had to pack our bags too. Hehehe. 

We woke up at 5:30am and our schedule was at 6am. It was crazy. Everything was just so crazy that morning and it was our monthsary as well! Hahaha we didnt had time to greet each other. We rushed and took Grab asap. We arrived at Victory Liner just in time, it was around 6:10am. And fortunely the bus was just being pulled over so the passengers could board. Whew! 

When me and Richard finally got on the bus, we looked at each other and laughed so hard on how funny we started the day. We were still a little light headed since we literally just woke up a few minutes ago! Hahaha then a little later the bus left and off to Baguio. 

Baguio Bound

Our trip took us about 6 hours. There were no stop overs since our bus was first class, there was a lavatory inside the bus. 

We arrived at the terminal just in time for lunch at 12pm. We were so hungry, we decided to have KFC which was inside the bus terminal. 

Going down the bus, I immediately felt the cold breeze which was so cool. Hehehe. Especially for me since it was my first time. I felt so giddy and excited. 

After we had lunch, we went to the front of the terminal and took a cab to reach our hotel.

When we reached the hotel, we checked in. The receptionist there are so friendly tbh. We got to the hotel, settled for a bit and decided where to go first and packed a smaller bag to bring along. 

Tree Top Adventure-Camp John Hay-Cemetery of Negativism-Bell House

First on our list was the Tree Top Adventure. We took a cab going here. I don’t remember how the fares cost anymore since it was months ago. But I’m sure they costs less than a hundred pesos. 

In the tree top adventure I actually had a little melt down sesh because I was so excited to try all of the adventurous activities but we were only able to do one thing. I wanted to zipline and all those thrills. But I couldn’t. Since the ropes and harness wasn’t big enough to fit my waist. And I thought I can’t believe this is the first place we went to and I couldn’t enjoy it since I’m too big for it. And Richard also wanted to zipline and everything but he didn’t wanna do it without me. I really thought it was really gonna ruin the trip. Thank God Richard was there to wipe my tears away and hold my hand. We still went inside but we only rode one ride the cable car thing. Not sure what its called. Hahaha. A little later after a no conversation with anyone. While we were seated to wait to ride the cable car, Richard made me laugh and the adventure continued. 

After exploring the Tree Top for a little while and walking around we left the place and went to Camp John Hay, Cemetery of Negativism and the Bell House. 

We just took some videos here and there for our little video after. If you haven’t seen it. Its here; https://vimeo.com/169707049 which is also my engagement video. Hehehehe

Korean Dinner 

To cap off our first night at the Summer Capital,  Richard and I opted for a Korean dinner that was a block away from our hotel. We had Unlimited Korean BBQ which was so gooooooooood. And we also ordered some soju to celebrate our monthsary  

First day at Baguio was filled with fun, laugher and even some tears. But, it felt so good to sit down with your S.O. and talk about the day you had with a shot of soju and munch on the goodness of the Korean BBQ. Life is good. 

(Baguio Day Two next post)

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It will never be the same without you Mom.

It will never be the same without you Mom.

It seems like ages, but it had only been a year and a month since you left mom. But so many things had happened and so many things are happening since you left us. It’s been difficult, so very difficult. It never got to me, I guess it never will because up until now I still think that your in Brunei, or your just simply in a place that cannot be reached through Facebook and Whatsapp.

Oh how I miss you always flooding me with notifications asking how was school and if I already ate dinner.

I guess what the elders always say are the true and proven that people will realize how much it hurts when they’re not there anymore and when they’re gone. It applies to all things; phone, bag, a favourite hair clip, former lover or an ex. But me, it’s losing more than that. I lost, we lost a friend. No more 20 miscalls from her , no more flooded messages, no more calling me Ate or Te. The simplest things she used to do to me, from showing how much she loves me, showing that she cared, the lambing of a mother that you can’t get anywhere else or from anyone else at all.

She taught me a lot of things. We loved to do a lot of things together as well. Shopping was definitely one of them. Window shopping was an option too. Eating our favourite comfort food together was the best. Oh food. Mom didn’t cook often at home, though when she did. It was just the best. Kare kare was one of those, she wasn’t able to show the exact steps on making it. I try to recall since I was always her assistant in the kitchen. That might be the reason why I have the tendency to like cooking too. She taught me how to bake as well, though I had the initiative to explore more about it and fell in love with it. She taught me how to love myself, and how to learn from my mistakes every time I failed and got hurt. She would always know the right words to say to make me feel better. From my past heartaches to school requirements and deadlines. She’s an amazing person. I could only see her in my dreams.

Ever since she passed, I began to believe that everything happens for a reason. It’s a saying that everyone has heard of, but it never really occurred to me on what it really is, what it really means. Her passing made me more matured, and more independent despite meeting the love of my life a few months before she passed. I learned to appreciate things more, especially on what I have now.

I miss her every single day and fortunately dream of her once in a while. No one can ever take her place. I truly believe that she’s my guardian angel. Watching over me right now as I type this, she’s an inspiration to me and to everyone that knows her. She was too young to be taken away from us at the age of 55.

I miss you everyday Ma

Love, Kath.

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Sunday beachin’

Last week we suddenly decided to go to the beach, and take some pictures and videos for this project I’m working on. These are just some screenshots from the videos we took together. They’re really cute. I hope you find them cute too. Hahahahaah

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Take Care, K.